Dear Parents:

Not that it's all THAT bad, but once you get the cell phone bill, you will understand this current offer to somehow pay it off for you.

(Actually, I already know how this is going to be done. One of our friends has an amazing house in HaMoshava HaGermanit, a nice area of the city. Where we will, of course, be throwing a party at which we will charge to get in, charge after a certain number of drinks, and rent out the upstairs rooms to...enterprising couples for 150 shekels on the half-hour. Then, we're going to use that to charter a bus to Eilat and sell seats to the massive number of kids going there at the end of July. At this point, I'm getting out; the others are apparently going to use that capital to set up a lucrative drug smuggling ring in the Sinai, but I've got a car to buy. So don't worry, the bill is as good as paid.)

Not-so-broken Hebrew

This language, as it turns out, is coming along pretty well. Today was the first big test day, which produced a 92 that was heavily contingent on stupid mistakes. So I'm actually doing pretty well; I can say all sorts of useful things like "Danny is Ruthy's husband" or "Is the shower in the apartment new or old?", but somehow we're not yet ready to even look at the infitives of verbs yet. This I won't even attempt to figure out. But nevertheless, I can actually communicate with the roommates in sporadic Hebrew every once in a while, mostly when the right situation (i.e. one of the ridiculous ones that has come up in the textbook) comes up and they don't feel like practicing their English. The other Max (Brief aside: There's a second Max, Max Brodsky, that I've become good friends with. Despite being from Texas and going to Harvard, he's become known mostly for being short; thus he's Max Ktsat (Little Max) and I'm Max Gadol (Big Max). I'm seriously recommending that people call me Max Gadol in a loud voice around large groups of women. This is going to do wonders for my social career in Israel, I think. Now, back to the point.) has the advantage of actually knowing enough Hebrew so that he can practice with his roommates while they speak English to him, which is a great arrangement. But of course, I am functionally Hebrew-illiterate for the time being, so that'll have to wait.

Attempts at Productivity

Yesterday's big event (at least, that is, before we packed a hookah bar with about five cabs' worth of kids, but that's an entirely different story) was joining the ridiculously nice Hebrew U. gym/workout-related palace. Reasons for doing so:

1. A nice big grass field, possibly the only one in Jerusalem, and deck chairs, which also means lithe Israeli college women in swimsuits.


2. Laying out in the sun means I can feel productive while I actually stare at the textbook for two minutes and then fall asleep.


3. Pool.


4. Workout machine/TV area, but this is of limited value; I did 25 minutes on the elliptical today, producing probably a gallon of sweat and an exhausted two-hour nap. I won't speculate on whether that had any relation to the previous night of drinking.

And, in the continuing list of reasons why I love Israel, looking back over my shoulder as I walk out gives me a view of the Old City and the Dome of the Rock. Which is just slightly better than going to the JCC.