Notes From The Weekend

1. If a friend offers you a drink called a Polish Butterfly, avoid at all costs. Alternately, if a friend tells to take a shot of contents unbeknownst to you, and the waiter brings said shot along with a glass of water saying "Trust me, you'll need it" (as was my case), again, AVOID AT ALL COSTS.


2. My lungs officially hate me for the rest of eternity. More on this later.


3. If in a foreign country and searching for a restaurant, make sure the address of the restaurant actually exists. Seriously.


4. The above nonwithstanding, my sense of direction is unfailing and entirely, 100% accurate under all circumstances, even in the midst of foreign cities. If you ever travel with me, I urge you to remember this.


5. On a closing note, it is my solemn right and duty as a citizen of the United States to get really drunk, eat burgers, and possibly cause property damage with fireworks today. Which generally sums up our plans for tonight.

Happy Fourth, everyone!